[personal profile] purplekitte
In my head, Kushina is Texan. I don't know why, but she really, really is.

Title: “Fried Fishcakes and Ramen”
Fandom: Naruto
Characters: Minato/Kushina/Kakashi, mention of Jiraiya
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: implied sex, threesome (obviously), genderbending
Word Count: 437
Disclaimer: Naruto not mine.

“Kakashiii! Don’t ya dare stand around out in the rain like that.”

“I can’t leave. I have to keep guard, Miss Uzumaki.”

“Don’t ya ‘Miz Uzumaki’ me, brat. Get in here; ya can damn well guard yar Hokage in the same building as ‘im!”

“Kakashi,” the Yondaime greeted him as he entered the kitchen.

“Sit yaself down while I go rustle us up some grub.”

“You don’t need to trouble yourself, Miss Uzumaki,” said Kakashi quickly, despite his growling stomach, as he dripped puddles onto the tile floor.

“I was just fixin’ to. And that’s ‘Kushina’ to ya, I’ve told ya.”

Kakashi sighed and took off his ANBU mask, which was obviously doing him no good.

“You can guard me just as well in here,” Minato echoed his girlfriend’s sentiment.

“Um,” Kakashi grunted uncommunictably.

“Ya and yar ANBU paranoia.” Only she would make fried fishcakes and ramen.

“That’s why I’m ANBU and you’re not.”

“Oh, low blow.” She slurped her ramen at him.

“Kakashi, eat,” the Hokage ordered.

He pulled down his mask with a sigh. Kushina looked over curiously. “What’s a cute boy like ya doin’ hidin’ a face like that?”

Kakashi wasn’t sure himself what most of his expressions looked like without the mask, but he guessed he was blushing quite red.

“Hey, I try to keep my student and his pretty face to myself.”

“But ya’ll share, won’t ya? After all, all that’s yars is mine and mine is yars, right?”

“Of course, dear,” said the blond to the redhead.

“Hey, don’t I get a say here?”

“Not in matters of the heart, kid.”

It was completely unfair that she could call him “kid”; she wasn’t that much older (well, five years). “Don’t ‘kid’ me, pedophile.”

“Don’t ‘pedophile’ me, brat; I’m not old enough to be yar mother. Even the old guy over there’s not.”

“I’m really entirely sure I’m not anyone’s mother,” Minato reassured.

“Well, I’m not bearin’ the children. You do it then, Kakashi.”


“Just yesterday I thought up this really great sex-changin’ jutsu, ‘cept, why would I want to be a guy? Ya, on the other hand, would make a real pretty girl. Ya could have a real short skirt and long pigtails; it would be so cute.”

“Are you sure you’re not a lesbian?”

“And you too, Minato. Ooh, wait till I tell Jiraiya. He’ll spend the rest of his life jumping up and down in front of the mirror.”


“As Hokage, I must protect valuable village resources, even from their own perversion.”

“I won’t tell anyone, if y’all’ll have lesbian sex with me.”

“To the bedroom, Kakashi!”



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